So ya this is what my 3rd post? Oh wait my second? lol I'm so caught up in my Face book that I have forgotten about you my sexy little blog kitten. I have so much to say and have so many things good and bad going on that I really need to jot them down some where! ...I should be put in blog time out or something.
So of course no sleep again...and I didn't even work last night. I had what I call "woman's guilt". It's this awful thing that I do to myself and I'm sure I'm not the only one.....if I am please lie and say you do this too. Everything in my life right now is done at 35%, or what I call half ass! Sorry it's the only term that fits it well! So I'm going about my life looking at my pile of laundry, messy kitchen, cluttered closet, trailer trash hair, un-groomed yard and think "what has happened to you"? I never used to let my house look like this, my yard was the talk of the neighborhood, hair done every 3 months, car washed every Saturday, etc. What has happened that I just don't care anymore? Well we will leave that for another post of excruciating therapy down Suzanne's life, but as I think upon these things all of a sudden the "woman's guilt" hits me like a ton of bricks.....
So here is the self mutilating RX for this self possessed disease.....So last night I fall asleep while watching Hannah M. with Brooks. Wake at about 7:00 (oh come on it was only an hour) and feel guilt that I had not done what I told myself I would do for the day. So after doing the nightly routine, that all of us mothers have.....Brush teeth, throw clothes in dryer, get boy in shower underwear, get Brooks drink, tuck boys in bed, talk about next days activities.......I decide to conquer the world! Yes at 11:00 at night. So I start a load of dishes and take a huge box of papers and junk out and start to go threw it. As time went on I ran to get a snack out of the fridge, and continued to de-paper the box. The box at that point got a little old and I sat wondering where to put the items that I had taken out of the box. I started to think really "this" was the most important thing to do today? The rest of my night / morning, whatever we are calling it, was not very productive, except for the baked Oatmeal I made for the boys, so I could at least not tack on the "kids with no breakfast guilt"! :)
As I was driving Braxton to school I looked in the rear view mirror. I looked like hell! My eyes where that of a 80 year old chain smoker and I thought, "really Suzanne, really"? What is with us women that we feel this pressure to have everything done. I guarantee that Kenton didn't loose one bit of sleep because of a pile of old bills that sat next to the Wii in our living room. So as I sit here I promise myself that my sleep = my health = time on earth with my kids, that I will never do the midnight guilt ever again! ......Of course Brooks needs to wake up and read her book, I need to bleach my hair and ....the day is so nice I should go out and...........! Have a great day and remember NO GUILT!
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