Grateful for my Dad!

    (#44) Grateful for my Dad! One word to sum up my Dad is selfless! My Dad was 54 when I was born...ya what a shocker I'm sure! I was always his "princess" from the day I was born. He suffered from horrible Arthritis that at times landed him in bed and made it hard for him to do things without pain. Many times I would comb his hair before church, fix his tie, and try to sneak out to mow the lawn for him. His hands were wrinkly and bruised from the heavy meds he was on. Even though growing up most people thought he was my Grandpa he was the best Dad I ever knew. Never an unkind word, never a raised voice, never complained about his hurting body. Since he took early retirement and my Mom worked most of the years I was growing up, I had an awesome opportunity to get close to him. I remember trips to 7-eleven on a hot summer days with all my friends, trips to the mall where he would just sit for hours while my friends and I roamed. Nothing was ever a burden to him when it came to making me happy. I tried to not take advantage of this!

   Some of the best memories of him were in the morning. I remember mostly my High School years him waking me up and me moaning and not wanting to get out of bed. He always told me to take a few more minutes and that he would start my breakfast. As we engaged in conversation he then drove me to Provo High while listening to whatever "I" liked. he would always act as if he knew the latest artist playing and that it was his favorite. "Oh Madonna, she's my favorite!" It always made me laugh and he promise dot not tell my Mom that I was listening to such crazy music! lol He picked me up form school with a, "how was your day and what can I get you to eat"? When I was younger and my Mom worked graveyards he would let me stay up and watch Jonny Carson with him...that also was something to not be told to Mom. We were always very excited when some golden oldie came on American Movie Classics like Singing in the Rain. Spending time with my Dad was never a bore, he always made it fun and all about me. Another memory which I am sad to admit was our nightly routines. I would get ready for bed and he would come in and sit on the edge of my bed until I fell asleep. We would talk, he would sing to me and tell me jokes. I hate to say that this continued until I was like 14. No wonder I want to talk Kenton's ear off before I go to bed! When I was younger I was very afraid of the dark. When I would wake up during the night to use the bathroom I would call for him, he would turn the bathroom light on and sit on my bed until I returned. I'm sure he wanted to tell me at times how ridiculous this was, but her didn't! Maybe this is why I am so patient at night with my own kids!

   My Dad taught me to love all kinds of music. He was a very accomplished singer and sang more before I was born than after due to his voice being affected by his illness. It was such a joy to hear him sing and the glow he had by doing so. A favorite memory was when him and I prepared a song for my Mom for mothers day, him singing and me on the piano. As she came home from work and walked in the door, I started to play and he followed. She of course was surprised and tears followed. His love for music trickled down to all us kids. He patiently taught me how to play the violin and sing. His favorite thing was to sit on our velvety couch and listen to me play. After 5 or 6 songs I was done, but he always wanted one or two more. The highlight of his life was attending my piano recitals, violin concerts, dance recitals, my brother Steve's Choir concerts or plays, my brother Ricks, basketball games, gold tournaments, or when he played the violin in the Nut Cracker. It showed on his face how proud he was of us all. Many nights he sat at Utah Lake out in the cold just to watch me ice skate. He would clap and say, "do it again" as I practiced a routine. He was never bothered by what was going on in our lives!

   My Dad was such a great example to me of how to treat others. It started way before I was born. He was an only child and at the age of 16 his father died leaving him to care for his mother. His unconditional love for his mother was shown by his years of watching over her until the day she died after he was married to my Mom. He served our country during World War II and returned to his mother after. He never complained of his service for our country and only shared the positive stories of him and his friends during those hard times. Till the day he died he tears would roll down his face as the National Anthem played. I was always a little embarrassed by this while attending the 4th of July Stadium of Fire, but became to admire him for that the older I got. He had many friends that we met along the way that always expressed their gratitude for my Dads loyalty and sense of humor during the years. I always admired what kind of a husband he was to my Mom. He was always there for her at the end of her day to listen how work went. He tried to do so many things around the house to make it easier for her. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dinner. It was never a relationship of this is what you do and this is what I do. My Dad was such a romantic guy and kind of ruined it for whoever I would marry some day. Birthdays, Mothers Day and Valentines was alwasy celebrated with a card, and huge cake with giant pink roses and sometimes my Mom's favorite, Oil of Olay lotion and pink pajamas from that weird "old lady", as I called it, lingerie store at the mall. He was happy to see the joy on Moms face as he once again surprised her for her special day. The funny thing was when the tables where turned he never wanted anything for himself and when we surprised him he always answered with a, "oh you didn't need to do that"! I always admired the relationship he had with my brothers! Treating them with the up most respect as men, not boys, but never loosing the love and affection that started as babies and stayed until the day he died. A kiss from my Dad to my brothers was something he never stopped giving no matter how old they got and what the situation was. To him age made no difference! Probably the most profound relationship was the ones he had with strangers. No matter where we went Dad knew someone and if he didnt know them he soon would. He had the most outgoing personality and sincere concern how people were. I often show gratitude to him for surviving as a Dental Assistant and being able to talk to anyone about anything. his witty sense of humor and all done with a straight face always was a favorite to our family. I'm sure he would be a frequent reader of my Facebook if her were here and would be the one person to always laugh at my jokes. I loved my Dads sense of humor even threw his hard times and up until his last days in the hospitol. A smile on someones face was way more important than to make known to them his pains or problems.

   One thing that my Dad taught me about without knowing was how to rely on prayer. As a very young girl I learned this lesson. My Dad could get around just fine, but I knew that certain things were hard for him like mowing the lawn. I begged him to teach me how to mow the lawn at the age of 8. I told him that I could do it for him and he could sit on our cement stairs and watch incase I didn't do it to his liking. He agreed since my brothers were much old than I and out of the house by now. I remember him showing me how to make sure the line of the grass was right in the middle of the mower so that I would not miss any grass. I would mow and he would empty the bag. Even though it was a pain in the butt the older I got, it was a time for him and I to be together. As I got older I wanted to surprise him by going out and mowing it on my own. With my little arms I pulled and pulled to start that dang mower. At times I would succeed and other times it just wouldnt give. In the privacy of my back yard I would kneel on the grass and pray that the mower would start before my Dad would have to come out and start it with him sore arms. I did this many times and everytime it would work. I would stand up and within one or two times it would start. I had many faces full of grass trying to lift up the bag to empty it, but it was all worth it when my Dad would come out and say, "you little rascle what are you doing"? I have told my kids that story numerous times when trying to teach them to rely on prayer. I still remember my Dad everytime I mow my lawn and owe it to him that I can mow a mean lawn to this day!

    The hardest thing for my Dad was the loss of my brother. All those years of bodily pain and never a bad moment, frown, or bad mood from my Dad, until my brother died. It changed him...it changed all of us. He became like a little child that had been hurt! There was no place to "be a man" in this situation. His heartache for the loss of his son was shown by tears rolling down his face each time we visited the grave. My heart ached for him, for he was the one that had to give my the horrible news about my brother. I was only 13 and I didn't know what was worse loosing my brother or seeing my Dad in deep despair. As doing so, he was very concerned about how the rest of my family was doing and the well being of my mother. He taught me that pain and sorrow were nothing to be ashamed of not matter your age or your gender. They were natural acts by humans and are what bring us closer to God.  The thought of him being reunited with my brother only a few years later warmed my heart.

   I always knew that my Dad might not see me graduate, get married or welcome my kids into the world, but the reality of it all was a lot and still is a lot to bear. I was 16 attending Provo High, and had just started dating Kenton, when Kenton and I drove by UVRMC and saw my parents car. I wondered what was going on so we went in and tried to find them. I soon found out that my Dad was having some tests done on his heart. We soon found out that he would need to have open heart surgery. Of course my Dad was very optomistic and to the last minute before he went into surgery was cracking jokes with nurses and family. Since his surgery was in Salt Lake Kenton would drive me to Salt Lake each day after school to see my Dad. Things went well and then set backs happened. After a while he returned home and quickly returned to UVRMC in Provo. It was a long fight for his weak body and things just kept going downhill. He was always so positive and always wanted to know how school and Tennis were doing. Thinking back I was in a a lot of denial that the outcome would not be a good one. I was instantly surrounded my my two very best friends and their Moms, Andrea  and Tonya. The hours spent with me in the ICU waiting room will never be forgotton and I know helped me along the way. I hope they know how much I love them for that! The support of my boyfriend which is now my husband was priceless! I feel such gratitude that Kenton got to meet such a great man that was my Dad before he passed. As we decided to let him go I never knew how much I would miss all the little things that I have shared today. The jokes, the kisses, the talks. I miss them so much and in all honesty am ticked off that my kids can't experience those things today. Oh how they would have loved him and he love them!

   I am grateful for such a great man that is my Dad and think about him often...the comfort that knowing that he is well and out of pain is what keeps me going. He makes me want to be a better person so that I can reunite with him some day. I am reminded of him by the little things in life, a song on the radio, a can of pork and beans, a rose on a cake, or even a lawn mower. I love that the non-living can still live within each of us and their legacy can continue. I hope I can be as selfless, kind, and loving as my Dad. I hope I can put others needs before my own as he did. I hope I can be courage's and high spirited in my last days as he was.

                                                              On this day I am grateful for you Dad!

All about Dad...
Favorite food...Moms fruit cake!Least Favorite Food....Pickled Herring (a family favorite of my Moms) We all loved it, but Dad!
Born...Provo Ut
School....Provo High
Work....Geneva Steel as a machinist.
Served....World War II
Hobbies....Sing, play the Violin, play 21 with the family! lol He was part of a Trio that played music weekly for the first radio station in Provo.
Favorite thing to do as a child...Play in the Water at the park by Albertson's in Provo.
Most Patient when...He sat at his Mother-in -laws while they talked German.
Favorite thing to do...Sit at the kitchen table and talk.
Favorite food...Moms fruit cake!
Dads menu for dinner....Pork Chops, Hot Dogs, Tamales, and a killer Beef Stew!
At night you would catch Dad....eating Milk Toast (YUCK) or a huge slice of cheese, which he would always ask if you would like to share.
Dad always made me...Tuna Sandwiches
His favorite hang out...The Pharmacy on 500 west across from Dr.s Park, some hole in the wall malt shop in Provo that he would sit and talk to Steve Young when he was there.
Favorite Family Activity....Going to Grandview Cafe! This awesome chinese resturant in provo across form Albertons on 500 west. Dad called it, "The Chinamens"! lol
Least favorite thing....Talking to Insurance compaines.
Favorite Holiday...4th of July, parade, fireworks, Stadium of Fire.
Favorite Song...anything Opera or Classic.
Dads Scent....soap and shaving cream! :)
One thing that drove Dad crazy....when Mom would slather lotion on his hands before church.
Downfall....his illness.
Favorite thing to read....The paper and the Ensign.
Best asset...his sense of humor and poker face!
Dad always kept a secret about....The box of doughnuts on top of the fridge!
Favorite TV show...Good Times! Murder She Wrote...which was the only thing we could watch on Sunday nights! lol
Favorite Vacation...Disneyland and visiting Steve in California.
Always wanted....A Cadillac.
Favorite child....ME! lol