I wanted to think really how I felt. Now this is where I preface my post by saying Do as I say not as I do! (I tend to preface most religious talks with this…my no means do I want anyone to think I am perfect in any way! Well I can tease a mean hair, but that’s about it!)
I have tried to think of myself as a non-member looking into the life of a LDS woman. Would it be the mothering of my children, involvement in school activities, devotion to my husband, decor in my home, organization of my home, simple, but stylish attire, many hobbies and qualities I possess, service to others, extended family, relationship with friends? What would intrigue a non member woman to want what we have???
First of all I thought of how sometimes overwhelming the things I just listed are to me and I am a Mormon wife and mother! How overwhelming does all of this look to a non member woman? To me someone that is looking for “the light”, something different, something that is missing in her life that will make her complete is going to run far away from something that looks to good to be true and hard to live up to!
Now for my churchee moment….(just to warn my not so churchee friends) lol ….
I thought of Christ, since we are Christians, and how he lived his life. How did he welcome people into his way of life, his beliefs? By example! You never heard of him bragging about the man that he healed or the girl that was raised from the dead…..never bragged about walking on the water either! He lived by making people want to be around him, having an energy and glow that intrigued people to want to know more. He never complained that it was hard work, that he wasn’t getting enough credit or didn’t have enough “followers”.
There are definitely different types of Mormon women in MY MIND! Wait let me repeat…IN MY MIND!!! Lol ……#1 The Doers…these are women that will do just about anything for their, church, school, neighborhood, local charity, kids, and yes even husbands! Anything to keep up with the whoever's no matter what it takes. #2 The Believers….these women are like doers, but they do everything not because of a status or because what others think, they do it because they believe! #3 These woman are the cliff hangers…..Oh they are doers and believers but keeping up with the whoever's is just too much work! They feel like they can never give anyone or anything 100% and in result are on the edge of a cliff just wanting to let go turning to a million different things to try and make them happy!....#4 Are the Jumpers ….These woman may have been offended in some way, not welcomed by the doers and believers, was alone when there were problems in her home, sat and watched while the other women talked and laughed, maybe felt insecure because of the way she looked or where she lived? These women just felt to overwhelmed and jumped! (Now listen I’m not speaking literally people, I have never really thought of jumping off a cliff! )……I wonder to an outsider which woman I portray myself as….at times a little of all I guess!
I’m not the best example and sometimes feel like a total hypocrite…not out of guilt, but because I know more about my journey that you might. I sometimes tend to run far away from those that are an example for the reason of self doubt, insecurity, and ignorance to all that I should be as a member. …..I will tell you one thing that I know God does not want women of the Church to feel overwhelmed and I know that he for sure does not want non member women looking in to feel like they “will” be overwhelmed. ……As a small child I was always taught that God knows me personally. Well than he knows my weaknesses, he knows that I may be stressed out at certain times in my life, he knows I’m going to feel insecure and not good enough sometimes. ….But I don’t think he wants us to make each other feel that way!
On any given day I’m LUCKY to.... have clean underwear for the family, at least one fruit or vegetable consumed by my children, (dinner together, even if the TV is on), a mother that has kept her cool, a husband that knows I adore him, maybe one prayer with the family, no moldy food in fridge, a smile to a stranger, a little help with some homework, my primary lesson planned the night before instead of 2 hours before, a pause in my day to watch a dance, (for the 10th time) and only half the candy bar eaten. I believe It’s all about the intent!
I guess for me I want the outsider looking in to feel my love, see my imperfections, read my doubts, know my hopes and see that I’m real and that I’m like everyone else looking for a higher power to help me along my journey. Something I believe in not because of it’s outward appearance, but because of how it makes me feel and the hope that keeps me going another day!
....to all my Perfectly imperfect member and non-member friends! Much Love!
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